SMRT career talk, visit to 3D theatre, a scholarship talk and networking session with the companies..
You know, attending these sort of events, speaking to people and meeting people from different levels (whether career or life), you'll either leave feeling some sort of satisfaction OR inadequacy.
Above all, I guess I'm fortunate to be able to observe and interact with these people. It's funny cos you can almost tell how an organization works based on the pool of staff they have. The way they talk, the things they laugh about.. You can really tell the difference especially when it's engineering versus non-engineering companies, private companies versus governmental organizations.
Umm, yes, I left with with the feeling of inadequacy after the last event yesterday. I haven't had the time to digest those inadequacy last night but this morning I woke up thinking through it. So I sat down writing these...
You bet. I was marking myself, seeing if I can correct mistakes I did yesterday. I gotta admit, that one particular business student really got me there.. Hands down. The way she pitched herself so naturally..
I started realizing the differences between engineering students and business students everyone has been talking about. Not to brag but I would consider myself one of the more talkative and sociable engineering students? Can you imagine how engineering students in general have to be compared to business students? Wow. Just wow.
I'm starting to recall how I was quietly self-doubting at that moment, subconsciously noticing the difference in terms of interaction when she was conversing with the personnel whom I was speaking to as compared to mine. Those voices in my head was not within my control. In my mind, I was questioning myself, "Oh gosh, don't you have more intelligent questions to ask? Look at her. Hmm how am I to keep the conversation going? What to say next? Am I not striking for an intellectual conversation? It feels like an empty conversation, meaningless... Hmmm..."
I started realizing the differences between engineering students and business students everyone has been talking about. Not to brag but I would consider myself one of the more talkative and sociable engineering students? Can you imagine how engineering students in general have to be compared to business students? Wow. Just wow.
I'm starting to recall how I was quietly self-doubting at that moment, subconsciously noticing the difference in terms of interaction when she was conversing with the personnel whom I was speaking to as compared to mine. Those voices in my head was not within my control. In my mind, I was questioning myself, "Oh gosh, don't you have more intelligent questions to ask? Look at her. Hmm how am I to keep the conversation going? What to say next? Am I not striking for an intellectual conversation? It feels like an empty conversation, meaningless... Hmmm..."
I felt like fish out of water during the networking event, perhaps partly felt like I wasn't there to hunt for scholarship or any of those companies? I was there for IE Singapore but apparently it's not the right event to be at.
Then again, there's always sth to learn. I'm glad I had the courage to attend these events on my own and left feeling inadequate (lol). It is a good exposure to prepare me for upcoming interview(s). Sort of like a wake up call to let me know what I am lacking. It sure didn't feel good cos I was eating up my self-confidence again. Yes, I had that "gosh-get-me-out-of-here" feeling again.
Then again, there's always sth to learn. I'm glad I had the courage to attend these events on my own and left feeling inadequate (lol). It is a good exposure to prepare me for upcoming interview(s). Sort of like a wake up call to let me know what I am lacking. It sure didn't feel good cos I was eating up my self-confidence again. Yes, I had that "gosh-get-me-out-of-here" feeling again.
BUT GJN! You've overcome it once again. ;) Polish and you will shine.
I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling this way and hopefully I'll be able to help others with the same problem in future.
P.S. I still feel the inadequacy but I just gotta keep reminding myself to work on it instead of dwelling on it. Things like "I've so much thoughts and personalities to show but I can't seem to be able to portray or express it in words." That's a big issue to work on. So many times I feel like I didn't get my message across effectively. :/ Yes yes, time to work on it! Grhhh Vrooommm!
I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling this way and hopefully I'll be able to help others with the same problem in future.
P.S. I still feel the inadequacy but I just gotta keep reminding myself to work on it instead of dwelling on it. Things like "I've so much thoughts and personalities to show but I can't seem to be able to portray or express it in words." That's a big issue to work on. So many times I feel like I didn't get my message across effectively. :/ Yes yes, time to work on it! Grhhh Vrooommm!
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